Things my kids say

Scene: Driving in the car as a family
Ashlyn: Look! Look at that over there!
Maryn: What?
Ashlyn: That! Behind the building. It's a metal tower. You're going to miss it. 
Maryn: I don't see it. 

Ashlyn: You guys are blind.
Conner: We're not blind. It's just not that interesting.

I was humming Jingle Bells when Ashlyn piped up. 
"You know, I spent years thinking the words were 'one hor soap in sleigh'."
*pause*
"It makes way more sense this way."


A few nights ago there was a knock at the door around 9:30 and I asked Maryn to go see who it was. She looked through the peephole and shrugged saying "I don't know. I can't see anything." She opened the door and let in her friend. A few minutes later "Oh wait! I just realized you can't have both eyes closed when you look out! You have to keep one eye open." In other news, I also got a letter saying she is on the honor roll.

Conner asked me how growing happened. I said I thought it was cells dividing and multiplying the same sorts of cells and then there was just more of you. He dismally cries out "Why aren't my cells doing that for me?" *pause* "Step it up cells."

After the doctor and getting antibiotics we stopped at the store to get more juice and more drugs and more cough drops. 
Ashlyn: So am I contagious?
Me: Yes. For a little bit. 
Ashlyn: So I should be careful in the store? Like not picking things up and putting them back?
Me: Well yes. And don't, you know, lick anyone or anything like that. 
Ashlyn: (shocked) Mom! WHY would I do that? *pause* I only lick Maryn. 

Ashlyn hugged me goodnight and expressed a concern. "Mommy. What if I don't feel well again tonight?"
Maryn (without looking up from her book): "Puke and go get some Sprite."


Maryn: I'm just so overwhelmed with all this college talk. It just makes it so real! And I can't handle it. 
Me: So you're a hot mess?
Maryn: I'm NOT a hot mess. I'm a soggy potato mess. And not the kind of soggy potatoes you make into mashed potatoes. I'm the kind of soggy potatoes that grow those root thingies and smell weird and you throw away. I'm not even worthy to be mashed potatoes!

Further, after whining about the new tank tops SHE picked out and said felt fine two days but she hates now and begged to change... I told her that tank tops (she hates the "support" inserts) were like marriage; once you make a choice and commit you just have to make it work.
Ashlyn; "Yeah. But learning to wear a bra is way harder than being married."