The All Kid Channel, All The Time...seriously, like 24/7...

First in tonight's line-up: Maryn Kate. 10 years old...almost 11...somewhat precocious... somewhat obnoxious...

Quotes:

Maryn: Mom, I know how to tell if a woman is pregnant or just really, really fat.

Me: Let’s just keep that little skill to yourself shall we?

Maryn: “We got a “goody bag” from growth and development today. I looked through it. There isn’t any candy. Everyone was disappointed. But there is a pad that looks like it’s for an American Girl doll.”

We were in Walmart and Maryn pipes up: "Mom? Are Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben, like, together?" Me (laughing): "Why do you ask that?" Maryn: "Well, one's and aunt, one's an uncle and they're both black and old looking. So I just figured..."

You know how at the end of pharmaceutical ads they talk fast and low about possible side effects? As we kind of half listened in the car, Maryn suddenly perked up and asked. "Did they just say 'May cause excessive smiling?'". It was excessive SWELLING. Although friend pointed out the former could be true if it was ad for Botox...

Next we have the lovely Ashlyn Erma. She's just a bit of a stinker. My friend calls her the rabid squirrel. Yep. That about sums it up. You can see it in her eyes...

Quotes:

Me, to Ashlyn. “I like to hold you because you’re soft and squooshy.” Ashlyn; “It’s my cupcake jammies. They make me cuddly.”

She's more like a commercial instead of sitcom. :)

And the next show is Conner Vaughn. He tries so hard to be good and yet is so good at being a pain in the *beep*. What? What was that for? All I was gonna say was pain in the backside! Sheesh. Stupid censors.
Quotes:

Me: "Conner, can you not watch that now?" Conner: "Why?" Me: "Because it’s obnoxious." Conner: "What's obnoxious mean?" Me: "Annoying." Conner (With not too hidden glee in his voice): "Oooooo. I LIKE annoying things!"

Nurse (to Conner); "Do you get easily distracted?" Crumples face, "Well sometimes at school, it's like I...hmmm, I don't know." Pause. "Wait, what was the question again?" (Let's go ahead and mark yes on that shall we?)

And finally, the debonair Paul in a feature length film! He's the taller one on the right...

Co -starring, for one dance only...the incomparable Dayna M.

Quotes:

Tonight at dinner I dared Paul to eat 3 pieces of fruit I had "dropped" in mustard. He refused. The girls gave him crap. I said, "Its okay girls. He's just being a big fat wussy man." Paul: "Well, I don't see any of you eating it." Maryn:"We're being big fat wussy women. But thats okay, because girls are supposed to be wussy." Paul: "Wait. Did you just call yourself fat?"

Maryn was frustrated over her schedule for impending middle school.

Maryn:” Grrr. I wish I just knew my period schedule!” Paul: "Isn’t that like once a month?”

"Mom, I'd really like to go see a battle re-enactment. Its on my list of things I want to do before I die. Like go on a mission, get married, have kids...and discover the lost elfin civilization in Atlantis, establish contact and bring peace to all people."

Did I say feature length? Huh. Guess a lot of THAT ended up on the cutting room floor...