Puzzle

So there is something that has been kind of swimming around in my brain. Which, knowing me, could be good or bad. I have a friend who is only 3 years younger than I am, and she and her hubby are expecting their first. I am ecstatic for them. They are good friends of mine, I enjoy their company. We come over to their house late, stay late, and play games. I can, because my kids are old enough for me to do that. I am in that phase of my life. When this beautiful little one is born, it will change their lives. I know it will. Because I’ve been there. I rode that pony already thank you very much. And here is what the race will look like. Gone are the friends over until midnight times, because you’re grabbing precious sleep whenever the baby is sleeping. Gone are the stacks of games of videos because you must baby proof the house (it takes all of one time for some finding little fingers to unorganize your alphabetically arranged DVD’s to move them to higher ground or another room with a door…and games have itty bitty pieces that little ones can choke on because everything MUST be explored with the mouth).

I don’t fit into that world. Not really. Not anymore. Because I have a son who, in 6 weeks time, will be turning 16. When it comes to kids, I am not even swimming in the same pond as they are.

And even the singles, although we a share a social situation, have yet to experience the joys of parenthood. I plan around concerts, homework and lessons…they plan around themselves. I get 5 people up and out the door in the morning. They get themselves up. This is not a bad thing. It’s just a different mentality.

So I try and hang out with people who have kids my age. And they are married. Happily married. And have no time to spare for me really because any rare spare time they find is invested in their spouse (As it should be!). And they politely invite me along on their outings, and I sit there smiling and feeling very fifth wheel even though they try not to. I can’t go out with my married friends who have kids my age because I’m not a couple. “Let’s invite Chiara over for games! Wait…we need 4 players…”

I feel very awkward…the “social situation” version of tween I suppose. I really don’t have all things in common with any one group. Three of the things that classify and define my situation right now are also mutually exclusive if you really want to fit in. “Single” and “Mom” and “30’s”. I don’t dislike being any one of them at once. Just maybe not all of them at the same time.