I'd like to lodge a formal complaint...

So tonight we went to our church's Nativity Festival. We went last night,  but we went again tonight because I was accompanying my friend Rachel and her mother Angela. They give a little Christmas recital as part of the festivities. They are both beautifully trained sopranos, and it was quite lovely. Afterwards, Rachel asked if I would like to go with her to use a groupon she got at a little hole in the wall pizza place downtown. I checked with the parentals and then gave the affirmative answer. I was enthusiastic. My parents were cooperative.

My kids were mad.

More specifically Maryn was mad. Now in fairness, Rachel and I also did a Biaggi's run last night after we rehearsed. I needed chocolate. It had been a long and stressful day. I need an hour without children or work. I make no apologies for a little self care. (Okay actually I do, because it mostly feels like selfishness instead of self care, but I'm working on it. Plus the cake was amazing.)

But I sensed this wasn't really about my absence. So I asked her why she was mad. Truth be told, is was more about me going somewhere that didn't include her. And it was about me going somewhere she wanted to go and didn't get to go.

What is it about being 11 years old that makes the entire world seem unfair?

Her day had been a list of complaints.

"Why don't WE have a real tree. I want a real tree. THEY have a real tree."
"And they have 2 trees. Why can't we have 2 trees?"
"They put their stockings on the fireplace. You put them on the shelf. They're supposed to go on the fireplace. Why don't we put them on the fireplace."
"You get to go places. I never get to go places. Why do you get to go places?"
"Hannah got one of those, why can't I have one of those?"
"Why can't we have pork for dinner? They have pork for dinner. You never make pork for dinner."

Finally, I stopped her.

"Look, if you're going to continue telling me everything that just isn't working for you like this, maybe you should write it down and submit it all at once a formal complaint."

She kind of laughed.

A friend pointed out that somehow in the eyes of kids that age anything different then what they have is bad. Somehow, someone else having something you don't have (even though you may have many other wonderful things), is perceived as unfair.

Okay, not just 11 year olds. I go there sometimes too. Okay, I go there a lot.

Maybe I should just confess straight out that I live there. I've pitched a tent and hunkered down for the long haul. But so often I feel justified in my complaints, because I complain about BIG things, not pizza and cake.

And yet...

Here is a quote from the latest church magazine. Elder Eyring said:

"So to be happy and to avoid misery, we must have a grateful heart. We have seen in our lives the connection between gratitude and happiness. All of us would like to feel gratitude, yet it is not easy to be consistently grateful in all things in the trials of life. Sickness, disappointment, and the loss of people we love come at times in our lives. Our sorrows can make it hard to see our blessings and to appreciate the blessings God has in store for us in the future.

It is a challenge to count our blessings because we have a tendency to take good things for granted."

I should probably reconsider accepting, or giving, any more formal complaints.