Why all relationships end badly

This is a happy post actually, despite the deceiving title

This post is about relationships, and something I've learned.

And that is that all relationships end badly. Why? Because they all...end. Someone...one half of the relationship, at some point will leave. Whether they leave of their own free will and choice or whether they are taken from us because their time on this earth is done; we must at some point be prepared to wallow in sorrow at the parting.

So since by nature, we humans do all we can to avoid pain, it should stand to reason that pursuing relationships would be something we would avoid entirely. Because it would be safe. Safer and easier. Easier than hurting when someone that has added so much to who you are leaves you.

But we don't do that, do we? We seek out interpersonal interactions. We crave them. And despite the inevitable pain...we actually need them. We need them because they create us. Our interactions with others change us and mold us. They make us who we are. They make us become better and open our hearts to new feelings and our mind to new thoughts. We become who we are because of who we know and have known. It is all about relationships.

Its about my friend Erin, who has been working as a member of my team since May. She left a few weeks ago so her husband and her could move to Washington state for school. And really, honestly, by all accounts...we should never have been friends. But somehow we were. And we became close over the past few months, and enjoyed working together. We supported one another in our individual life trials, that although different, had some similar feelings behind them. We learned from each other...and even though the friendship began when I knew it would end in a few short months...I am so grateful those moments became part of my collective experience. As we embraced as she left and I tried not to cry, Erin whispered... "Don't stop being my friend." Never Erin. Because the part of my life you claimed with your friendship will always be part of who I am becoming.

It's about my friend Marcus. Someone who, when I first met him, I had been determined to dislike. This relationship was a passing one in my eyes; he was an intern. I would have to put up with him for 10 weeks and then life would move forward and he would be a shadow of someone that I kind of remembered on the outskirts of my mind. But somehow, something changed. And I'm not even sure I can tell you exactly when it crossed over from "that annoying kid" to "one of my best friends ever". Or how it went from "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" to "It's been 5 hours since we talked, we should probably catch up before its too much for us to remember..." What was supposed to be a passing interaction has become something that I really don't see ending anytime soon.

It's about my friends Brenda and Melody. Who have been my friends for 24 and 20 years respectively. We have been divided by distance for much of that time, and yet whenever I see them or talk to them, its like time never passed. Well, except we're older and out bodies don't do the same things they used to do in high school. These are relationships that have weathered the tests of time of space (literally...states and states of space), and have been some of the most solid and reliable relationships of my life. They have loved. They have laughed. They have made me who I am and I know they will continue to influence me until the day one of us leaves this earth.

That's not even tapping into my family, who have obviously taught me more about myself than other group on this planet. My parents, my siblings, my children... all create me on a daily basis. They deserve their own entire blog post..each of them.

And despite the impending end to each those relationships, I do not regret them. And I think I will move forward with my life never regretting any choice to make a friend....knowing it will somehow become a significant part of who I am and who I will become. It is ALL about relationships. And those special bonds, despite their ending on this earth, is one thing we can take with us. I look forward to reuniting with all of those I love when we enter a life that has no ending. How sweet that will be indeed.