Broadway Revisited...Thacker Style!

So, should anyone ever question the insanity level of my family I have proof. I came up with this idea; My brother Rob’s birthday is tomorrow. So I got all my siblings to agree to call him 6 times each during the night, each time leaving a different message. His wife, Tamra, was our accomplice and made sure the cell phone was out for the count as of 10 p.m. this evening.

And thus the insanity commences. By tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. EST, my brother will have 31 birthday wishes waiting for him to begin his 31st year of life. It should be great! Bryant said something about having all his appliances say happy birthday in their own special way. Garrett was thinking about going to different restaurants and asking them to sing their birthday song into the phone. Haven’t checked in with the sisters…no idea what they’re doing. But it should be HILARIOUS.

And here is my contribution. I decided this morning to pick 6 songs from 6 great Broadway musicals, and I altered the words to suit the occasion. The songs became my birthday wishes. Here they are.

I present them for 2 reasons; 1) I think they’re horribly funny;and 2) I worked hard on them and want to preserve them…just in case (and blogs are way more reliable backups then hard drives)

The Cake Song

Doe a Deer from “The Sound of Music”

Cake, yes cake, I want some cake,

And a scoop of that ice cream.

But my diet interferes.

Ah! It makes me want to scream!

Birthdays are so very fun,

Except when you’re turning 31,

I guess it’s all downhill from here.

So I might as well have cake…

Cake, cake, cake

Cake, yes cake, I’ll have that cake.

And two scoops of that ice cream.

Might as well just cope with it,

Being thin at my age is just a dream.

Birthdays are so very fun,

Especially when you’re turning 31,

Might as well enjoy the feast,

Yes I’m glad I had that cake!

Unexpected Song

Unexpected Song from “Song and Dance”

I have never felt like this,

My hair is really gone,

I’m flabby and I’m sweaty,

I don’t know what’s going on,

But deep inside I feel,

It cause I’m no longer 20.

Now, no matter where I am, no matter what I do,

My birthdays seem to find me.

It’s not unexpected, yet,

Not unexpected yet,

It’s a big pain in the heiney!

Wouldn’t it be loverly

Wouldn’t it be Loverly from “My Fair Lady”

All I want is some cake somewhere,

And some presents I just won’t share,

I get the birthday chair

Oh wouldn’t it be loverly!

Lots of ice cream for me to eat,

Lots of candles makin’ lots of heat,

Warm heart, warm cake, warm seat,

Oh wouldn’t it be loverly!

On my own

On my Own, from “Les Miserables”

On my own,

I walk into my 30’s.

All alone,

My wife’s still in her 20’s.

Around me, I notice they’re all younger,

And all I see is Depends and me forever and forever.

And I know, it’s only in my mind,

That I’m talking to myself and just don’t care,

And although, I’m sure I’m going blind,

Still I say… my food’s not pureed.

Birthday Time

Summertime from “Porgy and Bess”

Birthday time, and the ice cream is creamy,

Chocolate Cake, and the gifts piled high,

Oh you know you’re rich, and you’re always good lookin’

Oh wait, that part was for another guy.

It’s my birthday

Oklahoma from “Oklahoma”

It’s my birthday

Let’s bring out the cake, another round!

And balloons so bright, it just seems right,

When I hear that happy birthday sound!

It’s my birthday!

I’ll open gifts up one by one,

We’ll drink root beer, everyone will cheer,

Maybe being over 30 will be fun!