March

So I think I'm about due for a catch-up blog. Now's as good a time as any.

Chiara

My big news? I got my Master's Degree!! Woo-hoo! I am very proud of myself to be sure, and my stress level has definitely tapered off to be replaced by new stresses I'm sure. I still like my job most days, but have admittedly been struggling a little lately in that arena. Trying to figure out why that could be. There are a few possibilities; one is money concerns that come with the looming fact that my son will be leaving on a mission in about a year and half. Another possibility is a change in the culture of my workplace. Anyway, I do like what I do and like the people I work with. So for now, we carry on as we are. Right now too, I have some great volunteers and interns. I am very proud of what that program has become using volunteers and am constantly seeking for new ways to strengthen and expand it. 

My days are filled with work. Then I gear myself up to come home and be mother. I also have a church calling and teach one piano lesson a week. I don't really have any hobbies but I do get the chance to spend time with people I care about and enjoy, and that's definitely a favorite pastime. Last night, for example, I went with Marcus to watch the National Ballroom Amateur competitions at BYU. So fun! I think he thought his commentary would annoy me, but I actually found it helpful. I got to watch one of my interns, Alex, dance. The night before we jumped in the car as a family and went to our friends the Thomases. We had dinner and played Rummy and talked.

I enjoyed a girl's night out a few weeks ago with the women who love my brothers, Mandy and Melissa. We went to Iggy's for dinner and a movie (Safe Haven) and really enjoyed their company. Last weekend I also had some ladies from the ward over and we played games and talked. Lots of fun. I am very blessed to have so many people who care about me and who I can enjoy their company.

Another thing in my life right now as well has been offering support to a neighbor who recently had the father of her four children pass away in a snowmobiling accident. They had been separated for some time, but the divorce had only been final for 2 days when he died. The most difficult thing of course was telling her children, who are very similar ages as mine were when their dad passed away. I was outside her bedroom door when she told them, and I can still hear their sobs as the realization hit them. Heart wrenching. In some ways its also been difficult for me, reliving some very emotionally draining moments. But I think there has definitely been a purpose in where I live. I am so grateful for the chance to hopefully make her path easier by having been there before. And now, its a bond we share. 

Paul

Paul is awesome. I know I'm his mother, and that makes me biased, but I also think I'm the first one to point out his flaws which drive me nuts. For better or for worse, our situation has made him take on some responsibilities sooner than intended. But in some ways it has been to his advantage  He babysat some little ones in our ward the other day at our house, and he was brilliant. He was engaging with the little girl, Sadie,  (who is 4), held the baby and meticulously got the little kids pancakes and eggs for dinner and settled them at the table. Sadie told me she liked Paul because he called her "beetle" and "stinkbug" and she thought that was funny. 

He seems to be enjoying school well enough, His grades are decent. He was a peer tutor last semester where he was assigned a special needs student to accompany and support during one period of the day. Not surprisingly, he was very good at it. He also did some testing to see if he still qualified for an IEP. He no longer needed services AND his writing score was the highest the psychologist had ever seen. He's mostly obedient and way more even tempered than I am, which is good since he is taller than I am and outweighs me. There is literally no way I can force him to do anything. 

Maryn

I hope and pray we survive each other. This is a difficult age to be and a difficult age to manage. Her moods are unpredictable. There are times that even as a woman I have no idea where all the spastic emotion is coming from. I also know it won't last forever. Which is consolation.

The upside? She is an amazing young woman. She was just made Beehive president and moved into the advanced orchestra placing 3rd chair cello. I can't even express to you what a awesome accomplishment this is. She also had a perfect GPA last term, and has risen to the challenge of gym class. She's really trying to change her habits and I think its really working for her. She is also immensely helpful and capable and does a great job of keeping things together for me when I can't be there. She happens to also be great with little kids and babies and is a sought after babysitter in our ward. 

Conner

So Conner is kind of funny in the way that unless he's not medicated and all up in my grill, he pretty much flies under the radar. We hit a difficult streak for about a week when the impulsive side of things seemed to get out of control (He punched his sister in the face and got in 2 fights at school). But we did some talking and evaluating, some therapy and some med adjustments and he seems to be fine. He is actually our moral center since the world is still pretty black and white for him. He gets very upset when I swear. And he doesn't like it when people hurt one another. He is also remarkably self aware I think. Sometimes when he gets upset, he knows that what he needs is to be left alone and find a way to calm down. I should probably listen to him more often. I think it would save a lot of grief actually in the handling Conner arena. He likes to play Yu-Gi-Oh with his brother and video games of all kinds.

Ashlyn
Ashlyn is very Ashlyn-like. She's pretty clever and cute, and that works both in her favor and against it. She is my biggest challenge right now, but I love hearing things like the following story from her teacher. During conferences, her teacher was very complimentary. She said Ashlyn was doing well and was reading above grade level. Then she asked me if Ashlyn has said anything about her situation at school. I got a little nervous and answered no. And then timidly asked if there was something I needed to know. Mrs. Van Zant shared that there was a little boy in their class, Sam, who has Asberger's. He was high functioning, but socially could be a bit of a challenge. She shared that she was very careful who she put him next to because it could get difficult to manage kind of quickly. Apparently Sam had been next to Ashlyn for some time. "She's so good with him, and patient," she gushed. I was so proud of her. And I went home right away and told her so. I was pleased she was doing well in school, but I was thrilled that she was such a good person, and treating someone who needed her kindness in such a kind way.

Another piece of that conversation is that I told her teacher that what I really hoped for my children was for them to grow up to be good people. And that I hoped I was doing a good job, that I worry sometimes since I am alone.She quickly reassured me. "I couldn't agree more about the good people thing. And you have great kids. You doing your job makes me doing mine a lot easier."

Score. :)