To Give and Receive Service

This is an essay written by Maryn about our experiences as a family over the past few weeks;

So, I was originally planning on running a sock drive for my project, and had all my plans set up to do so over fall break. But as life sometimes happens, a small tragedy occurred, when I came home from school last Tuesday to find out my mom had been urgently driven to the hospital. With my dad having passed away when I was five, and tow younger siblings I was sort of thrown into a pit of chaos, and realized that I was the one left to make big decisions for my family. As the break went on, school became one of my lesser worries, and I remembered about this project Sunday night knowing there was no way I could pull together my original plan for the assignment. So, I decided to briefly explain my experiences over the last week, and in all honestly the last ten years of my life.

After I heard the news I took a moment to myself, and began to make a plan as to where my brother and sister would go for the break. And as I was sitting at my table trying to figure out what to do, my grandma and cousin came and sat by me and began to help facilitate everything. Suddenly, a huge weight was lifted as I took time to make a plan for myself, and began brainstorming what I would do when my mom returned home, for I knew she would not be fully recovered for at least 2 months. When some plan had been made, I packed up my siblings a bag and my grandma took them to my aunt;s house, while I had been allowed to have the house to myself for the whole night. By then several people had heard about my mom, and i received literally 20 text messages from people who were worried about ME. Who wanted to help ME in every way they could. I graciously told them I was fine (whether or not I really was is debatable), but I managed to find peace in these seemingly small gestures, as I went to bed early that night drowning in exhaustion. And when I woke up the next morning I had several texts asking again if I was okay, or if there was anything I needed. I began to feel a little guilty that people were taking time out of their own busy days to check on e and my family. And I began to fell guilty that I wasn't taking care of my siblings, considering it felt as if I had just made them become someone else's problem. But when I had gone to stay at one of my older friends' house that night, we went on a drive where I kind of just let out all my sadness, frustration and guilt out. And after I had told her all these things the only things she said to me was "Maryn, if you aren't honest and don't allow others to help you in times of need, how will they ever be able to serve you and have opportunities to be good, especially if you/re the one always doing that/" I felt the need to ignore her, but I did know she was right. So, I decided to try harder at being more willing to let others help me, and once I did I was able to accomplish a lot of thing. You know I was able to completely deep clean my house, do all my laundry, and plan dinners. As I said, this is just a brief segment of what has happened over the last week. But all of the service I've been able to give, and more importantly received from all those who wanted to do good has truly been a blessing in my life. 

And now I know that this not what was expected for this project, but I came to the realization that good people would never have their chance if there were never people like me in times of need. Sometimes I think we forget that, and as I said before, because I have let others serve and take care of my needs, I now have the capacity to do so for others.